Hey Babe :) I know it's kind of lame and mildly creepy, but we both know you are going to be lonely when you go off to med school, so I made us a blog. I wanted to keep it secret from you until the move, so you could open it and look back on all the memories we had in the last few months. I love you so much, and don't want you to forget that. So I hope you enjoy looking back on all of these silly things we have gone through :) I love you, Dr. Jones!
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This will belong to me someday.
Source: jennivision
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Dearest Alex, this is for when you don’t know what to get me for a present.
CHEMISTRY CRAYONS!!! :D
(via kiwikero)
Source: etsy.com
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Greetings, Darling :)
I arrived home from work this evening, took a shower, and flopped down on my bed with my puppy and my laptop. I opened facebook and the first thing I saw was your post, and it really managed to make my day. I am curious as to what brought on that random display of affection, and because it’s on your wall and not mine your parents will be able to see it (Which makes me really happy, in a rather prideful manner that I’m slightly ashamed of…..but not really)
I hope your night went well, I hope you are sleeping soundly. I hope I sleep soundly too, Luger is letting out some horrible puppy farts. They rival yours in intensity. I don’t know what he ate today, but he’s looking kind of fat and man his farts are nasty. I hope they don’t wake me up tonight haha.
My father is, once again, ignoring me. He’s avoiding me I think, but I don’t really mind. I prefer to be left alone.
I miss you very much, I can’t wait to come visit you. I need to reserve those days off. Tomorrow (Today, now) is my day off, so I will have to do it on Wednesday. I really hope they give them to me. They better, or I am going to throw a fit.
I love you so much, you make my life so much better. I wish you were here, or I was there. Actually, I wish I was there more than I wish you were here. I miss having a nice bed to snuggle up with you in. I can’t wait until we can live together again, it was so nice when we did. It seemed that while living together pushes most couples apart, it just brought us closer together. You’re so easy to get along with, you’re my best friend in the whole world, as well as a lover. It’s really nice, having the two most important companions rolled into one person. I love you more for it :)
I think this weekend, after I get paid, I’m going to go out and buy a good stethoscope. Not as good as yours, because yours is WAAAY too expensive, but maybe a 50 or 60 dollar one. That at least would be sooo much better than the stupid pieces of shit they have at the hospital. You would think that they would have better equipment, for all the money they make off the patients and the importance of having accurate vital readings. But they don’t. So now I have to buy my own Stethoscope. I am definitely going to have my name engraved on it though, people in that place have very sticky fingers.
Alright baby, I’m falling asleep on my keyboard now, so I’m going to go take my contacts out and then go to bed. Tomorrow (Today, aka Tuesday) is my day off, so call me or text me whenever. I look forward to talking to you, and telling you how much I adore you.
I love you very much, babe.Sweet dreams.
<3 Your Puffin
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Heya Babe,
I just got home from work. I have decided to try to post on here at least once every day, so I think the best time to do so will be after I get home. I don’t like going straight to bed anyway, I’m usually too stressed out and/or have too much on my mind to go right to sleep, so I think I will just make a point to write you a little something to wake up to.
I guess I could use this as sort of a diary of my day at work, not that it’s that interesting. Usually it’s just a whole lot of poop and Megan being a flirt to me, and old dirty men groping at my butt. But I suppose I will tell you about it anyway, just to give you something to entertain you.
Tonight I had to work on B wing. I really don’t like B wing, but I don’t hate it as much as I used to. I have kind of wriggled my way into the little girl clique, I’m not part of the clique or anything (not that I want to be) but at least they don’t snub me anymore and I can actually find people to help me now. I think I won Megan over with coffee and by telling her that I’m Bi. She has been being really nice to me lately, when she used to not even acknowledge my existence. I had the split section today, which is probably the easiest one. I just throw all my people in bed right after dinner (there are no lifts in the set, thank god) and then I just relax with nothing to do for the rest of the night. It was really nice.
Although about seven thirty tonight I started feeling very ill. It kept getting worse until I left, and around ten it got really bad. I started having hot flashes and nearly fainting. I had to catch myself a few times and just sit down on a bed, stick my head between my knees and try really hard not to be sick. I was super nauseous and dizzy the whole night, and I had this weird headache that was more a feeling of my head being squeezed in a vice than pain. It was just really high pressure, and it was super annoying. I still kind of have it, but I took a buttload of tylenol when I got home just in case I’m getting sick. I do NOT want to get sick. I thought about taking my temperature, but I’m kind of afraid of what it will be. I feel really warm. If I feel this crappy tomorrow, I will take it. Hopefully I won’t though.
I really miss you, I wish you were still here. Better yet, I wish I was there with you. I wish we lived together again, I wish we could just be done with this silly long distance relationship. It’s very inconvenient. But at least we are a third done with it, oh how time has flown.
Okay love, my laptop is telling me that it’s going to die. I’m laying in bed typing this, and my charger is in the living room, and I really don’t feel like getting up, so I am going to say goodnight and go to bed. I love you, I miss you, and I can’t wait to hold you again. I will call you in the morning to wake you up so you won’t be late for your test.Ok two minutes remaining….Goodnight love.
<3 your puffin
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*Creeps out of hole*
Hello love,
I was just lollygagging around on my laptop trying to find something to occupy the massive void you left when you went home, and I came across this blog. Honestly I kind of forgot about it, and I’m super sorry about that :(
I don’t know what made me forget something as important as this, I guess this new job has just been consuming my existence haha. I’m sorry I haven’t posted anything in such a long time, I hope you haven’t stopped checking.
But God do I fucking miss you. I can still smell you in my bed, and on my clothes, and I snuggled with your scrub top all night wishing you were in it. These goodbyes never get easier, if anything they are getting harder because in all honesty, I am falling deeper in love with you. I love you right now more than I ever have, and it is still growing. When you were here, I felt so happy, so alive, so worthwhile. This feeling is like the feeling you get when you read a super awesome book and it ends just in the middle of the story, and the sequel hasn’t come out yet. So all you can do is wait, halfway through the story, for the rest of it. And that pause, that break inbetween, is like floating on insecurities and doubt when all you want to know is what will happen next. You desperately want to get back to the story, but you have to wait and have nothing to fill the space of the unknowable. That’s how I feel right now.
I want to continue our story. I don’t want to put down the awesome book that is our relationship, just for a pause filled with work and school and stress and a slowly shattering family life.
When you’re with me, I can forget about all of that. Work seems easier because I have someone worth going home to, and my family issues seem less intense because I have someone I can turn to for comfort.
I hate being alone.I fell asleep last night thinking about you, and thinking about how long we have been apart, and how long it will be until we are back together forever. I can’t wait until all this is over, and we can move back together and start our happily ever after. This distance though, instead of making us emotionally distant to one another, only seems to be making us stronger. We have these little tastes of each other every few months to remind us of what we have waiting for us once we pass through the trials. I want more than ever to be with you, and I hope you feel the same.
I love you, Alex. I love every bit of you. I love your silliness and I love your smile, and I love the way you laugh at me and I love the way you hold me when I get upset that you laughed at me. I love your cuddliness and I love your adorable attempts at romanticism, I love your nerdiness, I love that you always have something to say. I love your Weasley-esque facial hair and I love your body, and I love the way you wiggle and squeal when I tickle you. I just love you, plain and simple, and I am loving you more every day without fail. I want to be with you forever and ever.
I see all these other relationships, of friends and strangers alike, and I really appreciate what we have. We communicate everything, even though we are so far away. We make time for each other as much as possible, and we stay faithful. I think what we have is really true love, I think it’s that impossible thing that seems to only exist in fairy tales. I think you’re my soul mate, and I can’t imagine being without you.
Haha now that I’ve oozed sap all over everything, I hope you have a wonderful day. I hope you are sleeping well and I hope you have good dreams. I wish you luck on your test tomorrow, I’m sorry you couldn’t get more studying in. I will talk to you when you wake up, darling.
I love you <3
-Your Puffin
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Alex,
I know I havn’t been posting much on this site. I’m really sorry, I’ve just been occupied with horses and trying to find a job. Plus, I’m putting most of my feelings into your book :)
I really miss you. It’s been 120 days since you moved away. It feels like it was only yesterday, but then again it also feels like it’s been years since I saw you last. I have an interview with the hospital next thursday, I really REALLY hope they give me the job. If I get the job, I will only be working three days a week and every other weekend. That will give me plenty of time to go to school, I will get tuition reimbursement from the hospital, and I will have full benefits and paid vacation time. I will be able to come visit you more often then :)
I finally feel like my life is going somewhere. Hopefully I can get my R.N. degree in two years and have enough money to move wherever I want. Which could very well be somewhere like Mississippi. Forest General seems like a nice place :P But I feel like my life is taking a turn for the better. I want to be able to work and make money and be able to live. And I want to be able to spend more time with you. I love you very very much, more than my vocabulary can portray.
I want to be with you so badly right now, I want to snuggle up beside you on the chair and fall asleep in your arms. I want to give you backrubs and kiss your necs and nuzzle your ears. I want to brush my eyelashes on your cheek and on your lips. I want to kiss you and fell your warm skin on mine. I can’t wait until the day we can live together again, those three months that we were together I can honestly say were the best in my life.
I found myself thinking today about the time that you took me to see Mount Dora and we walked around the town and down to the lake. I was so in love with you that day, I remember it clearly. I remember the shop that we went into and we saw the plate and silverware set for little kids made out of trucks and bulldozers that they could play with their food. It was at that moment, when I saw your smile light up your face while you played with a bulldozer-like spoon, that I knew I wanted to have a family with you. You would make a wonderful father. I can’t wait to start our life together, and I can’t wait to be able to say I have a family and a loving husband.
I look at my mom and my dad and I realize how lucky I am to have you. I think about Jenisus and the father of her baby, and I feel so happy that I have someone I can trust to not walk away. I hope you never get tired of me, I hope you never find someone better. Because I will never be able to find anyone like you. You are unique, you are one in a trillion. You are my everything, we are perfect together, and I will never ever let you go.
I wish I could put all the feelings I have inside me into words, but words don’t do me justice. All I can do is show you how I feel, when we lie together. It is silence that tells how I feel, gentle touches and warm tears of happiness and tender kisses. It is torture to be so far away from you, but when we are together, even in silence, it’s paradise. I miss you more than words can say, but I still love you more and more with every passing moment. What we have is stronger than six hundred short miles. we could be a universe apart and I would still wait for you. You are my other half, my better half. You are an extension of my soul, and now that I’ve found you, I would never be able to live the same alone.
I wait for the day we are together again, and even though it feels like it will never come, I know it will, and I know that every passing day is one day closer to being with you. And it gives me the strength to live. I love you so much, and my love grows and grows without limit.
I miss you darling, I can’t wait to see you, and I am so happy I have you.
Love forever and ever,
Your Puffin.
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You have no idea how happy I am to have you.
I talked to Kelsey a bit more this morning and the way she’s feeling is similar to how I felt in the beginning with Ross. Because I’m such a goddamn empath, I can understand exactly what she’s going through. And I don’t like it one bit. For a moment, I felt through her all the old feelings that I had with Ross, abandonment, neglect, frustration at his not trying at all.
And then I think about you. And how caring and loving and compassionate you are, and how you make a point to stay in contact with me even from 600 miles away. Alex, you are honestly everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. Sometimes I can’t help but think you aren’t real, you’re a figment of my imagination, a projection of everything I’ve ever wanted; a fantasy. It’s like you’re too perfect; I think I could search the world my entire life and still would never be able to find someone else like you.
I know I’ve said it many times before, but I will never give up on us. You have made me a better person, you have improved my outlook on life and love. You are everything I ever dreamed of, you mean everything to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I believe what we have is stronger than what Kelsey and Dave had, stronger than what most relationships have. What you said last night was true. We haven’t left the honeymoon stage. Every day I’m with you, every time I talk to you or see you on skype, I love you more.
I love you, darling. You make my days brighter and my wishes come true. I can’t wait until this long distance trial is over and we can continue our life together.
You’re my dreamboy.
<3 your Puffin.
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Full image link →
I can’t WAIT until I can live somewhere where I can actually wear clothes.
I miss my scarves.
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Good Morning Sexy!
I woke up at around 7 to a text from Kelsey saying she and Daveo broke up, which really sucks. She has only been living in Gainesville for like two months. According to her, she has become more involved in religion and all she needs is Jesus and stuff like that, which, in my opinion, is kind of a stupid reason to break up with your boyfriend. But then she said that she didn’t think he was trying hard enough to make her feel special and all he would ever send her was a few texts throughout the day and a short phone conversation every night.
I feel bad for her, because I know exactly what she’s going through. She’s afraid that he’s going to give up on her. Honestly, I’ve been kind of jealous of her. She and Dave are only an hour and a half apart. It makes me sad that they were so close to each other and still couldn’t make it work. They were dating way longer than we were, and they’ve been apart for so short a time, it makes me sad to see another long distance relationship fail.
I guess what I mean to say is, I’m really happy to have you. I feel closer to you every day, even though we are so far apart. Sometimes I get sad because I don’t get to talk to you much, but then I think about all the times we had together. I look through the Tiffany’s box full of little mementos of our time living together in Orlando, and I am able to look forward to when we can continue filling that box. I also read over your letters sometimes before I go to sleep. Even though I know them almost by heart now, they still manage to make my heart flutter. Just looking at your handwriting reminds me of how things used to be.
I am happier with you than I’ve ever been, even though you’re not here. I feel like my life is finally moving forward, and you are going to be there to meet me once I’ve become someone. I could never do what Kelsey did. You and I probably communicate less than she and Dave do. They get to see each other a lot more than you and I do, and I still feel like our relationship is stronger than theirs. (Well obviously, since they’re broken up and we are still going strong)
I love you very much, Alex. I see us being together forever…and those aren’t just empty words. I knew even before I started dating you that it would be hard. I knew there would be days that I would struggle, or that I would over react about insignificant things like I always do, or that you would get annoyed with me always pestering you. I can’t wait to see you, I can’t wait to snuggle and huggle and cuddle your cute butt. And even though I won’t get to see you very often, the time that I do get to spend with you is worth every second I have to endure without you.
I hate seeing my friends, Kelsey and Dave, and Meredith and Hunter, who are only an hour or so apart and still can’t endure. Meredith and Hunter are constantly having problems thinking the other is giving up on them, and Kelsey and Dave couldn’t make it even a few months. I just want you to know that I will never give up. I want you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I will suffer for a little while because I know I will be the happiest girl in the world when we are finally back together. All I can do is improve myself until that time comes, and try to support you in your schooling. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything, and I’m not going to let you go easily.
Hopefully I can get this job. It will make everything so much easier, I will have something to do and I will be able to afford coming to visit you more often. I can’t wait :)
You are my world darling, you are worth every minute I’m lonely. I want to move up north with you, and teach you to ski, and have a farm with you, and build a house with you, and go hiking with you, and have lots of babies with you, and live happily ever after with you.
I <3 you forever and ever,
Your Puffin.
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I’ve never stopped feeling like you are a part of me. I still feel like I’m talking to myself sometimes, even though my better half is six hundred miles away.
